Having started on the route to self disclosure....

I find a sort of fascination as to where this may lead. An odd sort of comment, but I am far removed in time now, from events in my distant past. I now have the advantage of hindsight with which to view those events and the 'players' on that stage. I can calmly look at my own contribution to the highs and lows I have experienced, calmly yes but not always without regret. For instance in the general description of my early years I ommitted to mention my second child. I said my wife and I had three children, this was not true. We actually had four but, in an attempt to make sure her memory cannot be sullied by others I decided to leave her out of this narrative.

I have had time to reflect on that decision and now find it flawed. If anyone tries to use what I post about her against me, then that says more about them than anything else. Kirsty, your mum and dad are proud of you and love you, and both of us, though now divorced know and share the knowledge that one day we will all be re-united in the 'summerlands'. I cannot claim this to be an honest discourse if I do not mention you too sweetheart. You were and remain a vital part of my life and you will take your rightful place in it's description.

You see dear reader, I made the claim myself that this self-disclosure was going to be honest, and it will be. Nothing and no-one will divert me from this. I have already stated that so far I have only done a general description of my earlier years. This will be rectified in forthcoming instalments. I will be breaking down that description into chapters, each going into a little greater detail of the times already described. When this is done I will move on to a general description of my latter years, then onto chapters of each distinct stage within them. each chapter again going into more detail. I am 52 years of age, and in that time there have been many ups and downs, they deserve to be told. Once this has been done I will go on to my hopes and dreams for the future, and God willing, some of these plans may come to fruition.

Stay tuned, you do not have to read about me elsewhere to know who I am and what I may or may not have done. All will be revealed right here, straight from the horses mouth so to speak. This is an interesting project for me on may levels, but it is also strengthening and empowering as each word added removes from others the ability to try and make disclosures that they assume I prefer to be kept 'secret'. Taking the wind out of their sails will give me great pleasure. More importantly, because I will be including information about me that is not as 'savoury' as I would wish, any right-minded person will safely be able to deduce that I am being honest elsewhere too.

My next 'chapter' will appear very shortly.